How Much Is This
Gonna Cost?
No hidden fees. No surprise charges. No sucking air through our teeth and telling you it'll cost more than your house.
Well... maybe a few fun ones. Keep reading.
Important: Call-Out Fee
Starts at £50, paid before we leave. Live further away? It costs more.
Choose Your Adventure
Your behavior determines your rate. Choose wisely.
The Normal Rate
"You let us work in peace like normal humans"
- We do the job
- You do something else
- Everyone's happy
- Car gets fixed
The Supervisor
"You stand behind us watching every move"
- Breathing down our necks
- Asking 'is that normal?'
- Making us nervous
- Slowing everything down
The Expert
"You tell us how to do our job"
- 'My mate said it's the alternator'
- 'I saw a YouTube video...'
- 'Have you tried turning it off and on?'
- Unsolicited advice included
What's Wrong With My Car?
Diagnosis isn't one-size-fits-all. Plugging in a scanner takes 10 minutes. Stripping an engine to find a noise? That's a different story.
Plug-In Diagnostic
The quick scan
- Read error codes (DTCs)
- Live data stream
- Freeze frame data
- Basic system check
Perfect when you've got a warning light and need to know what's up
In-Depth Diagnostic
When plug-in isn't enough
- Everything in Plug-In
- Component testing
- Wiring checks
- Sensor verification
For when codes don't tell the whole story
Strip-Down Diagnostic
The full investigation
- Disassembly required
- Internal inspection
- Mechanical diagnosis
- Labour-intensive
Engine internals, gearbox issues, timing chain - the big stuff
Pro tip: Most jobs start with a £40 plug-in scan. If we need to dig deeper, we'll tell you before we start.
Other Stuff You Should Know
The extras that actually make sense
Call-Out Fee
Starts at £50. Goes up if you live in Narnia. Petrol ain't free, mate.
Emergency/Out of Hours
For when your car decides 2am is the perfect time to break
Tea & Biscuit Discount
You make us a cuppa while we work. Biscuits = extra discount.
The Unofficial Price List
These are jokes. Mostly. Maybe. We reserve the right to apply them.
The 'I Had a Go Myself' Disaster Fee
You touched it. You made it worse. Now we have to fix YOUR fix first.
The Garage Bodge Job Cleanup
Another garage 'fixed' it. Spoiler: they didn't. Now it's our problem.
The 'I Know A Guy' Surcharge
For every time you mention your mate who could do it cheaper
The YouTube Mechanic Fee
If you've already 'tried to fix it' based on a video
The 'While You're Here' Tax
Adding 47 extra jobs after we've quoted for one thing
The Mystery Noise Bonus
When the noise stops the moment we arrive (it always does)
The Liar's Levy
'It just started doing this' when the dashboard is covered in warning lights
The Clean Car Credit
If your car isn't a biohazard, we'll knock a bit off
Disclaimer: The above are jokes. We won't actually charge you extra for standing behind us. But please don't.
What You Actually Get
No surprises here. Just honest work.
Always Included
- Mobile service - we come to you
- Professional diagnostic equipment
- Good quality parts at fair prices
- Warranty on our work
- Actual explanations in English
- No hidden charges
- Friendly service (most days)
Never Included
- Hidden fees (we hate those too)
- Unnecessary upsells
- Jargon designed to confuse you
- That mechanic sigh/teeth sucking
- 'While we're here...' surprises
- Judgement about your car's state
- Pressure to buy things you don't need