How We Actually Work
The boring legal stuff is handled by lawyers. This page is the real deal. Think of it as a "don't be difficult and neither will we" agreement.
Written in English, not Legalese. You're welcome.
The Basic Deal
We'll be professional, honest, and fair. You be the same. That's literally it.
What We Promise
Hold us to it.
We'll Be Honest
If we can't fix it, we'll tell you. If it's not worth fixing, we'll tell you that too.
Transparent Pricing
You'll know what you're paying before we start. No mysterious fees on the final bill.
We Show Up On Time
2pm means 2pm. If we're running late, we'll actually call you.
Plain English
Not mechanic-speak designed to confuse you into paying more.
We Stand Behind Our Work
If we fix something and it breaks because of our work, we'll make it right.
We're Actually Nice
No eye-rolling at questions. Cars are complicated. We get it.
What We Ask
It's really not much.
Be Honest With Us
'It just stopped working' is rarely the full story.
Lies = extra time = bigger bill.
One Call Is Enough
If we don't answer, we're under a car. Leave a message.
47 missed calls won't make us answer faster.
Be There When We Arrive
With the car. And the keys. At the address you gave us.
No-shows = full call-out fee.
Pay Call-Out First
From £50 before we leave. No exceptions. No sob stories.
No payment = no visit.
Let Us Work
Standing 2 inches away asking 'what's that?' slows everything down.
Remember the £100/hr Supervisor rate?
Everything Upfront
Don't add jobs halfway through. One job at a time.
Surprise additions = extra quotes.
The Absolute No-Nos
Do any of these and we're done. Seriously.
Lying
We'll find out. We always do.
Haggling After
Price was agreed. Move on.
Free Diagnosis
Our knowledge costs money.
No-Shows
Tell us 24hrs ahead.
Being Aggressive
Instant termination.
Pay Later
We're not a bank.
Cut Corners
Properly or not at all.
Selective Memory
We keep records.
"I've Got My Own Parts"
Read this carefully.
You Can Bring Parts
Sure, you found it cheaper. We'll fit it.
No Part Warranty
Your part, your risk.
Call-Out Still Applies
Even if part doesn't fit.
Comeback = Full Price
If your part fails, same fees again.
We Refuse Rubbish
Obviously cheap junk? No thanks.
Wrong Part? You Pay
Labour's still owed.
Why? Too many "brand new" eBay parts were dead on arrival. Your part = your warranty department.
Fair Warning Charges
These are real. We will charge them.
The Liar's Penalty
Lie and waste our time? Bill doubles.
The No-Show Fee
Don't show, still pay.
The Runaround
Wrong address, wrong info, waiting around.
The Return Trip
Forgot to mention something? New trip.
Good news: Be decent and you'll never see these charges. Most customers never do.
About Phone Calls
Let's address this directly.
- • Elbow-deep in an engine
- • Under a car
- • Programming a key
- • We WILL call back
- • ONE voicemail
- • Text with details
- • Car make/model
- • Brief description
Real talk: 15 calls in 10 minutes = 15 missed calls to clear before calling anyone back.
The Bottom Line
We're just people trying to do good work. Treat us like humans, we'll treat you like humans.
95% of customers are lovely. This page exists because of the other 5%.
If you're thinking "who actually does this?" - congrats, you're in the 95%.